


The Odd Couple

by intothegarbagechute



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Sloppy Makeouts, absolutely trashy, slightly cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 18:15:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5675773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intothegarbagechute/pseuds/intothegarbagechute
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fill for tfa_kink: in which Hux and Kylo, through bizarre circumstances, become the world's worst roommates. "Show me obsessively tidy Hux living in close quarters with super-powered problem child Kylo Ren, and driving each other insane with the most mundane, domestic roommate drama nonsense. Pairing optional, but I am very in favor of sexual tension adding to the mess (and maybe they have a big fight which turns into a heavy make-out session)"</p>
<p>That's it. That's the show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Odd Couple

“Sergent, I leave it to you,” General Hux said, returning the man’s salute and leaving the _Finalizer_ ’s bridge as quickly as was appropriate. It has been A Week. And now it was over. The _Finalizer_ was already understaffed, most of its soldiers having been given shore leave while the whole of E-Deck was refitted after a mysterious hull breach. His investigation into said breach has just hit a dead stop. Literally, as in, all of the potential witnesses _and_ surveillance files were dead. And now Supreme Leader Snoke had threatened to send him _into the field_. It wouldn’t do. Thankfully he was only a few dozen paces away from a bubble bath with delicately-planned computer presets: glimmering light and chamber music. Just a few dozen paces, and he could soak his cares away for the evening. Just a few dozen paces until.

 

Fuck.

 

He remembered just before his chamber doors swooshed open and wondered what fresh hell would await him. He cringed as they swooshed closed behind him.

 

Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, Favored Apprentice of Supreme Leader Snoke, was lounging in a training tunic with his boots up on Hux’s pristine white furniture couch, watching a holo, a sea of trash surrounding him. When Hux left this morning, his personal maintenance droid had made the place spotless again! Ren hadn’t been called for any meetings or briefings or scenarios— he’d just been sitting here, all day, making a mess! It looked like he’d gone for a practice session and hadn’t showered, hadn’t moved, just let his sweat dry where he sat. 

 

“ _Filthy_ ,” Hux breathed to himself.

 

Kylo Ren looked up at his entrance and furtively put away the holo. _Oh god_ , Hux thought. _Was that? Was it porn?_ Had he been _jerking off_ all day on his pristine white couch????? It was more than he could bear. He quickly turned and marched to the bathroom, his boots crunching on snack wrappers with every step.

 

—

 

Tap tap tap. Pause. Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Pause. Tap tap.

 

“What are you doing?” Kylo Ren intoned. He sat perfectly still, his legs folded in on each other, meditating. Well, he’d been _trying_ to meditate. Meditation was a part of his practice that was challenging to him at the best of times, and now, now that he was _forced_ to be so close to General Hux. Hux’s presence was everywhere, Kylo could feel it pressing in on him, when he slept, when he woke, when he breathed. Even when Hux wasn’t around, he was still here somehow. Kylo took a deep breath. Perhaps this was just an additional challenge to his training.

 

“What?” Hux asked, his sharp blue eyes bulging slightly out of his head. “I’m not doing anything.”

 

“Yes, you are,” said Kylo. “You’re making a lot of noise, in fact.”

 

“I?” Hux pressed a hand to his chest to dive right into the sarcasm. “ _I_ am making a lot of noise, Kylo Ren? That astonishes me. Because, on the vast spectrum of volume of noise to be made, you seem to forget that—“

 

“Does that sentence have a point to it, _other_ than the _noise_ it continues to create?” Kylo asked, his eyes closed in an approximation of meditative bliss. He could feel Hux boil and sputter with anger. He smiled: this was exactly the right atmosphere for his meditation. A roomful of rage was perfect for concentrating his power, making Grandfather proud. He could just imagine Darth Vader’s private meditation chamber— Kylo knew he could be an expert meditator if he had a chamber like that— he imagined the deep well of rage that must’ve fueled his Grandfather. He thought he could feel it within himself. He reached out to it, and—

 

Tap tap tap tap tap. Pause. Tap tap tap tap. Pause.

 

ASDFGHJKL;!!!!!11 this was not going to be easy.

 

—

 

“I just don’t know what to do,” Hux said, his head in his hands. “He just sits around all day watching porn holos in his sweaty training tunics. It’s obscene!”

 

“Well, sir, you _could have_ always let him room with a trooper squadron,” Phasma said in a bored tone.

 

“He would have murdered them all! If not with his ridiculous lightsaber, with the smell of his horrible socks he leaves lying around everywhere!” Hux replied. “Did you know, the other day, I came in…”

 

Phasma subtly turned off the headphone output within her helmet. Hux wouldn’t notice, anyway. Give it another five, and she’d “hear” an “order” she had to respond to. She’d lived with far worse roommates than Ren. None she’d ever been so… passionate… about. Oops! Look at the time, she had to…

 

—

 

Finally, some peace and quiet. Hux was just sitting on his (newly bleached) white couch, not a thing to look at, not a sound to hear or respond to. He leaned back, closed his eyes, and took a deep—

 

“Who moved my Darth Vader reliquary?”

 

Of course it was too good to last. Hux’s eyes flew open.

 

“Your _what_?” Hux asked.

 

“My Darth Vader reliquary, the specially-made receptacle where I archive and display the remains of the greatest Master of the Force to ever be born? It was right over there, right next to where I’ve been meditating, and SOMEbody MOVED IT.” Kylo paused to look sternly at Hux. Who didn’t move.

 

“And now I don’t know where it is, and I don’t think I need to tell you the value of—“

 

“A _reliquary_ really connotes a _closed receptacle_ , not just what is, essentially, a very large ashtray,” Hux said. Kylo froze, the anger rising in him.

 

“An ashtray?” Kylo breathed.

 

“Yes, and while we’re talking about mysterious SOMEbodies in a suite shared by only yourself and me, SOMEbody ate the very last of my very rare and very precious melon,” Hux said.

 

“You know I can take what I want,” Kylo replied, his eyes narrowed.

 

“Not this melon, you can’t,” Hux said, standing.

 

“You’re seriously comparing my grandfather, Darth Vader, born of the Force incarnate, to a _melon_???” Kylo’s eyes flashed dangerously, and Hux couldn’t resist taking a step closer to him.

 

“Considering what a dirty, filthy, obscene grandson he has who sits around watching porn all day jerking off on other people’s couches, _yes_ ,” Hux said. “I’d say it’s _apt_.” Kylo tilted his head.

 

“Who sits around doing what all day?”

 

“Porn. Porn, I know you’re watching porn. No one shuts off any other holos that quickly,” Hux said.

 

“That’s why you had the couch bleached? Because you thought I jerked off on it?” asked Kylo.

 

“Primarily, yes, the bootprints were of secondary concern,” Hux said.

 

“And you always felt a surge of anger and something else and had to immediately leave the room… because you thought I was watching porn?” Kylo asked. 

 

Hux blinked at him, astonished. Hux, to his knowledge, didn’t have feelings, and he preferred things that way. It kept things simple. Kept him good at his job. And yet he found himself answering, completely truthfully: “Yes.” Kylo moved closer to him, and he felt sure that Kylo had also messed with the delicate temperature enviro settings.

 

“It’s been fueling me: your anger, that something else. I’ve never fought better in practice. Once I could focus, I’ve never felt more strongly connected. Ever since I was forced to cohabitate in your quarters…” Kylo looked up at Hux. Whose ears deceived him: bright pink.

 

“I was forced to cohabitate in your suite,” Kylo repeated.

 

“Well,” Hux said, “There was a question. I mean, it was no option: barracking with a squad of troopers, I knew you were one tantrum away from a mass murder…” Hux glanced up at Kylo’s eyes. He looked, to Hux’s surprise, amused.

 

“A tantrum?” Kylo asked, trying it on for size. “No one has dared call my outbursts— _tantrums_.”

 

“Yeah, well, they are,” Hux told him, the prissiest look glued to his face. “Wait. The E-Deck hull breach… was that…?” Hux honed his piercing blue eyes right on Kylo. And saw him squirm.

 

“Maybe,” he said. “Maybe this is my fault. Anyway you thought I would kill the troopers. What makes you so sure I’m not one— _tantrum_ — away from killing you?” And suddenly Kylo’s face was so close to his, he could see every asymetrical freckle, see the flecks of green in the deep eyes boring back at him. He could smell— his shampoo, right there on Kylo’s beautiful hair. That something else, the something other than anger, stirred in him at the scent. At _his_ scent, on Kylo.

 

“Are you saying you haven’t been jerking off?” Hux asked quietly.

 

“I haven’t been jerking off,” Kylo responded. “Not on the couch.” Hux found his breath shallow and his knees a little wobbly and that was peculiar.

 

“Well I haven’t been jerking off, either,” Hux said, “As though it needs saying.” Kylo looked into his ice-blue eyes: the cold, hard façade of the man. Kylo batted his eyelashes.

 

“Would you like to?” Kylo asked in a purr.

 

Hux’s mouth dropped open with surprise and arousal and Kylo went right in for the kiss. He pressed his lips against Hux, and something electric exploded in his chest. Kylo kissed him deeply, wrapping his long arms around Hux’s torso, pulling him closer. He felt Hux’s hands lace their fingers into his hair, and _oh fuck_ no one had touched him there, like this, in… it was incredible. And now Hux was tugging at him insistently, pulling his head closer, and somehow they had landed on that stupid white couch of Hux’s. He scrambled to straddle Hux’s torso and Hux pulled his hair tightly, pressing against him wildly. Hux pressed his tongue against Kylo’s lips and started pressing his tongue into Kylo’s, madly, like a crazed human.

 

Kylo let out a small whimper and Hux gasped into his mouth. He wiggled, and moved his hands from Kylo’s hair to his hips, groaning as he felt his hardening cock press against Kylo’s. They kissed hard and fast and sloppily— little trails of saliva escaping from time to time. Hands flew and pressed and explored, groping. Kylo brushed a thumb around Hux’s ear and discovered he made the most obscene little sound, so he couldn’t stop doing that.

 

Not altogether very long later, Hux was faced with the decision of whether or not to have the couch bleached again, when Kylo swung Hux’s hips over his shoulder and carried Hux to his own bed.

 

—

 

The next morning:

 

“But seriously, where is my Darth Vader reliquary? It’s sacred and irreplaceable.”

**Author's Note:**

> the holos Kylo furtively puts away are old home movies BYEEEEEEEEE


End file.
